when i'm sad, i sit on the floor and hug my knees

Please answer my questionaire as genuinely as you can.  Some of the questions may bring on lethargy or even make you physically sick.  Please persist as best you can.  It's all in the name of research.

1) Your beloved goldfish named Eric has just passed on to the big aquarium up in the sky.  What is your immediate reaction?

a) Head to Pets at Home and get a more original fish. 
b) Pick apart 3 Birds Eye fishfingers and a satsuma in an effort to replicate him.
c) Sit on the floor and hug my knees.

2) A friend that you have been staying with tells you that they want you out because you are a dirty, dirty ho' who eats mayonaise for breakfast.  What is your immediate reaction?

a) Tell her that the mayonaise was in fact salad cream and leave quietly.
b) Fake a recurrent Herpes outbreak and hope she takes pity on you. 
c) Sit on the floor and hug my knees.

3) On his deathbed, your great uncle Nigel drops a bombshell by telling you that you are descended from apes.  What is your immediate reaction?

a) Nod and smile to appease him but be safe in the knowledge that your blood-line is pure Gryffindor. 
b) Laugh at all of Johnny Vegas' jokes, stamp on any Tetley teabag that you see  and unashamedly attend a Phil Collins concert.   Anything to make them accept you. 
c) Sit on the floor and hug my knees.

The answer was mostly C right? I knew it.  Because for every tear-jerking situation that is what we as humans are programmed to do.  You can't argue with Mother Nature. 

But those are the exact images we are bombarded with.  On my Social Work course we are being continually encouraged to 'enable' and 'empower' the service user, which is why the lecturer felt it completely appropriate to use this image slap bang in a presentation:

I've seen this boring stock image countless times.  Infact, with the power of hindsight and double-checking at my capacity, Google Image the word 'depressed'. Either they all like the smell of their own crotch or this is the exclusive and solitary pose in which people can understand a complex mental illness.  All of which scream 'victim'. 

If I'm having a tough time I don't immediately fall to the floor and regress into an upright foetal position.  No, I do what every mature girl of 24 would do.  I take out my tear- stained copy of Adele's '19' , I then shaking with the velocity of emotion insert the CD into my CD player, I then press play.  Then standing in front of a mirror (so I can see how anguished I look when mascara runs down my face) I warble like a biiiitch.