animal yarn

Not to get all mega depressing before Christmas but today is the 'anniversary' of my dad's death.  Without getting too sentimental; he was an amazing dad.  I inherited a collection of his poems that he must have wrote when he was around my age.  Some of them are reeeeally angsty..comparing life to an extinguished cigerette (now I know where I get it from..) but some were really, really funny and usually involved animals.  He used to read them out to me when I was a weee lass and they made me break down giggling. They remind me of those old Alan Ahlberg poems. I hope they make you giggle too.  Or at least snort. 

The Cat

At six o'clock, they wake me up

And kick me out of doors

I have a sniff and scratch about

And then I clean my paws

When winter comes, I stay inside

The snow is cold and wet

And if I caught pneumonia

I'd have to face the vet

Animal Yarn

The cow is chewing at the cud

The farmer takes a nap

An irate bull trots upto him

And drops one in his lap

The farmer chases after him

Upon his horse and cart

The bull swings round

And all at once, lets loose a mighty fart

The poor man, numbed from sheer surprise

Sits fixed upon his seat

The bull, without the slightest care

Regurgitates some wheat

The farmer grabs his rifle

But accidentally falls

The bull just smirks and lifts his hoof

And kicks him in the balls.

The Bird

I am a bird up in a tree

My life is not much fun

Cos every time I move about

I'm shot at, with a gun

I use to like to chirp and sing

And sometimes I would hum

Byut yesterday, my jaw got hit

And now, I've been struck dumb.

A Budgie's Lament

I'm sitting here, upon me perch

Me heart is all a flutter

Me cage, they've put inside the fridge

Just cos I swiped some butter

They think that I'll have had me fill

From peanut shells and plates of Trill

But what I really want to eat

Is lots of beans and sausage meat

I can't say more, I'm getting cold

Me feet are all a shiver

I think before I'm frozen stiff

I'll grab that bit of liver.

Tehe