i think we'll just have to be secretly in love with eachother

i've been in a bit of a shmaltzy mood today, maybe motivated by a late night viewing of 'the time traveller's wife' last night and hysterically weeping that eric banananana didn't look like my henry at all.  where were his glasses??
so this naturally led me onto contemplating my top 5 couples in films which is perhaps a pre-emptive valentines day post but... badabingbadaboom. here they are; a brief but tender gaze at some of my favourite couples from the big screen:

first up is margot and richie from the royal tenaunbaums.

i usually want to marry all of wes anderson's characters or at least stalk them from a safe distance.  this couple are maybe too cool for words, margot is pretty much a style icon with her long fur coat, painfully straight hair and kohl eyeliner and richie just makes me want to stroke his face. he was able to see through the cloud of co2 she emitted from her cigerettes and she was able to see through that.. beard. which luckily he got rid of half way through the film and managed to look a little like the lead singer from maroon 5.. only more earnest and less slutty.  one of my favourite lines is from margot, 'i think we'll just have to be secretly in love with eachother and leave it at that richie'. heart.broken.  why do you do this to me mr anderson??

numero deux. joon and sam from benny and joon.

this clip explains it all.  johnny depp plays sam; a quirky, mysterious, funny, agile outsider with a penchant for small baguettes.  he attempts to woo joon our typical female character in turmoil (she paints) and has 'mental health problems'. is it obvious that i'm less impressed by joon? can i help it if i naturally identify with brunettes? hmm. so does sam succeed in wooing our flaxen-haired weirdo? of course.

maybe a bit predictable but everything happens for a reason. it's charlotte and bob from lost in translation (scarlett johansson and bill murray)

the best duo to run riot in an increasingly alien and at times detached tokyo.  i'm a sucker for most films by sofia coppola and the lingering beautiful way she shoots them, so this was always going to be a winner.  i like the way it subtley seems to suggest that a love story doesn't have to be a traditional progression from a to b to c but can be brief and fleeting.  it's like a love chapter. or maybe a paragraph. (??)

drei. definitely angel-a and andre from the film 'angel-a'.  directed by luc besson the same guy that directed leon.  just for credentials.

set in paris. je'taime!! andre saves a stunning, giantess of a lady and she returns the favour.  maybe.  angel-a reminded me of katherine hepburn in 'bringing up baby' at times.  following around a man who will eventually appreciate your individuality or in angel-a's case. the longest legs in the world. 

now for..four.  sean bateman and lauren hynde from 'the rules of attraction'.

 

all the things that could have been if it wasn't for victor, the townies and maybe that sean is related to a serial killer. it could have all been perfect.   rock and roll. 

finally five. possibly my favourite couple too is..  clarence and alabama worley from the film 'true romance'.

 because if you ignore the fact that quentin tarentino had a hand in this film, the begining of the film is all pretty medicore and then BAM. you realise that clarence has visions of elvis presley telling him what to do and who to killand that alabama is a call girl 'with a heart' as she is often described by strange people who cannot comprehend that she is not lacking a fundamental organ.  they are usually in the wrong place at the wrong time and go on a bit of a crime spree. but they do it in the most romantic way. 

countdown over.  and they all lived happily ever after.

a child called tit

I'm still alive.. just.  I guess the reason I haven't been blogging to my audience of 8 people is that firstly, I don't know if you're real people.  Watching 'Source Code' has made me doubt everything.  Secondly, slowly failing a Masters degree takes a lot of commitment and thirdly... gjkldsjgifdjgdh.  I thought I'd return on a lighthearted topic; the kind of topic that you could absently eat malteasers to whilst half-heartedly watching an episode of Come Dine With Me (effective drum roll..) - Child Abuse.  In particular literature about child abuse, an effective and new-fangled term for it is 'Misery Lit' a popular genre that creeps me out.   

A man who has made gazillions from this market from selling his heartbreaking life to the world is Mr Dave Pelzer, author of 'A Child Called (T)It'.  Leaving his lack of credibility aside, Dave the self pro-claimed 'Robin Williams of Child Abuse' has made a lot of money peddling his trilogy; A Child Called It, The Lost Boy and A Man Named Dave and all because the bestselling, money making purge must go on.  In 'A Child Called It' Dave describes in graphically, relentless detail about the physical, sexual and emotional abuse he says that he suffered at the hands of his mother.   Pelzer reckons that it's 'cathartic' for him to write about the horrors he apparently suffered and probably helpful to other sufferers of abuse who need to break the cycle and tell someone.  I have my doubts but sure, then what about his other readers? What are they getting out of this?

It's disturbing that people like reading these types of books whilst at the same time lamenting how 'horrific' it all is and how it makes them feel 'sad'.  But increasingly after Pelzer cashed in, a whole host of 'survivors' have tapped into this growing genre.  Emotionally manipulative titles like 'Don't Tell Mummy', 'Betrayed' and the directly condescending 'Nobody Wants You'. Hm.  All seem to have the same italic, whimsical fonts and the same type of image in wishy washy colours:  a child model probably being told to look a bit forlorn with the eyes being later photoshopped to up the anti on the sheer heartbreaking-ness of it all. 

I realise that historically sensationalism sells, Edgar Allan Poe managed to appeal and probably at the same time titilise an entire Victorian audience with his Gothic tales of insanity and decomposing corpses of foxy looking women.  What's not to like? One of my favourite quotes from poor old Poe is, 'There is nothing more tragic than the death of a beautiful woman'. I think this theory can be applied to the misery lit range and this is why it sells but perhaps the word 'tragic' should be exchanged for 'compelling'. 

Even WHSmith have taken note of the popularity of this increasingly bizaare genre and have a section called 'Tragic Life Stories' making it all the more easier to pick up that copy of 'Don't Tell Mummy' and as a real treat a Cadburys Creme Egg for a cosy Friday night in. Deee-licious.   I'm not saying that anyone who has read one of these 'memoirs' is a paedophile or future child beater but there does seem to be a disturbing component at play. 

One of the most depressing everyday situation that seems to genuinely depict the morbid voyeurism of human nature is when there is a car accident.  The majority of people driving past just have to crane their necks a bit and look. I think it comes down to the same morbid curiosity that is probably inate in all of us but that should probably not be fed. E.g. don't rubber-neck and don't buy a book called 'Mummy Knew' and a pack of Cadburys Creme Egg without asking yourself why.